Can you briefly tell us about your NICU experience?
Our oldest daughter was born on April 20, 2018 at 32 weeks and 5 days via emergency c-section due to me having severe pre-eclampsia. Even though the doctors explained to my husband and I that they had one of the best NICUs and that she would be in the best place possible, I still sobbed all the way home as I was being discharged from the hospital without my baby. Luckily, we lived approximately 20mins from the hospital, but that drive back and forth to visit her still felt like forever. We were allowed to see her 24/7, so some of our visits did go late into the night where possible. At each visit, I would ask the nurses and doctors on hand lots of questions about her progress and was just amazed at how she was thriving and fighting against the odds and certain setbacks. A major thing that made her stay a little easier for us to deal with was the camera in her incubator that we had access to while away. On May 13th, I received the best 1st Mother’s Day gift ever when I was told, much to my surprise, that she was being released later that night. I have to admit that although I was relieved, I was also terrified to be taking such a tiny baby home and initially felt like we couldn’t care for her as best as the nurses and doctors did.
What was the hardest part about your NICU stay? How did you cope?
The hardest part was having to trust the medical professionals to care for my baby while I was away, because I couldn’t ask them about what they were doing and why at the time they were doing it. Also, I felt like I was neglecting my baby when I left her, even though in reality, I had no choice- it was what was best for her. Honestly, I can’t really recall how I coped. There were lots of tears. I just took each day at a time and tried to visit as much and as long as possible. Also, sharing the experience with my husband helped, but I still felt like I let my baby down because she had to be delivered early due to me getting sick 🙁
Did this experience teach you anything about yourself? Your family?
It was a really humbling experience for us and taught us that things don’t always happen as planned. However, it allowed us to really trust and depend on God, especially since the situation was beyond our control. We had to rely on and have faith in God to work a miracle, which He did.
Do you think that your NICU experience had an effect on the way that you raised (or are raising) your child and subsequent children?
Our second daughter is approximately 4.5 months old. With the exception of inherent challenges of being pregnant and subsequently delivering and raising a baby in a pandemic, we did try recalling and applying some of the things we did with our first, but we quickly realized that all babies are in fact different. One thing I was adamant about though was breastfeeding my second daughter, as I was unsuccessful with breastfeeding my first due to her NICU stay and related setbacks. I’ve also noticed that we are just as overprotective as we were the first time around with a NICU baby.
What advice would you give to parents who currently have a child in the NICU?
These NICU babies are indeed little warriors! Keep rooting for and loving on your baby, despite the odds, and give yourself a little grace. You will be exhausted holistically, but no matter what, don’t lose faith in your baby and in God. Regardless of your length of stay, you will get through and will be so proud of all that your little one will overcome.
What’s the one thing that you wished you had known at the start of your NICU Journey?
For me, I wished I knew more about successfully breastfeeding a NICU baby, which was even more challenging as I was trying to get better and heal myself. There are many resources and tactics for milk expressions etc, but it was still a struggle for me. That is definitely one of the top things I wished I was able to do better for my NICU baby.
Is there anything else that you want to share?
I would like to express my enormous gratitude to the NICU nurses and doctors. They step in when a parent is most vulnerable and are real heroes caring for our babies.